My arrival in the family

In 1949 When Benjamin was 2 years old he became a big brother to his sister, Susan. That, of course, was me.
My Father was returned to the States from Japan, where he had been stationed in the Air Force when my brother, Ben was born. The Air Force stationed the family at Castle Air Force Base in Atwater California where I was born. I was told that because of the extra care needed by Ben that my parents decided not to have any more children since my Mother feared she could not care for any more than one more child besides Ben properly.
Dad was a Master Sargent in the Air Force and taught airplane engine mechanics for only a couple more years after I was born. I don't have any memory of him in the Air Force myself, but there are many pictures of him.
We lived so far out in the country that there were no neighbors and no one for me to play with. It was a very lonely existance with both of my parents so busy and I could only play with Ben in limited ways. Ben and I could only play where we would be in one spot. He couldn't hike and run with me outside. Sometimes he would be outside with me in a wheel chair or in our little kiddie pool. We lived on 40 acres of farm land and there was nothing but farm land all around. I learned to occupy myself with things I could do alone like jump rope, jacks,play dolls, hike around the country, play in the sprinkler or mud. I also learned to love reading and would lay out on the lawn with my dog for hours reading books. There was also a tire swing hung in a huge cottonwood tree that would keep me occupied for hours. I also learned to enjoy sewing. Everything I did was alone. Looking back I realize this caused me to think I had to do everything alone and carry all responsibility for everything and everyone, resulting in overload throughout my life.
My Dad had seven sisters with families and my Mom had only two brothers. They all lived mostly out of state or many miles away. There were occasional visits but not enough to really form relationships with any of the Aunts or cousins. My grandparents on my Mom's side lived in Clarkston Washington so we saw them around once or twice a year. Hardly enough time together to build a relationship either.
My parents took us to Sunday School every Sunday. This was the only exposure and opportunity to play with or get to know other children. I met my best friend there and we are still the best of friends to this day.
We had two dogs named Tippie and shaggie. They would find an old rag or rope and each one get on an end and play tug of war all the time. It was fun to watch them. Then one day Tippie got hit by a car and I remember her laying on the porch dieing and I was so sad no one was helping her. After she died Shaggie wouldn"t eat anymore and he went off and died of a broken heart.
As my Mother worked long hours keeping the house perfect and cooking very nice meals for the family she also worked with my brother so he could learn to walk in crutches and braces. Even though she was told by the doctors that Ben would never walk she still did everything to give him the chance. Ben started out in a large brace that went from his feet up to his back. I still remember that huge thing. Then as he got stronger he was able to walk with braces that went the full length of his leg only. I remember every morning Ben sitting on the floor putting on his braces. As he grew in size and strength he was able to advance from those full leg braces and crutches he supported himself fromj under the arm to braces just above the ankle. This was a far cry from the diagnosis given to my parents at the birth of Ben that he would never walk or talk. Boy, did he learn to talk. He was very verbal.
There was little interaction between my Dad and Ben. My Mother seemed to have the whole responsibility for his care.
Dad was out of the Air Force after a couple years and was building an automotive parts and chemicals business. He formed a fleet of distributors and had a warehouse to store truckloads purchases from manufactures. This growing business kept my Father occupied all the time. My mother helped him besides caring for my brother so I was left pretty much to myself most of the time. I was painfully lonely.
I find it challenging to bring back to life those years so long gone and most of them not pleasant to remember either. Although I miss my brother very much and as mean as Dad was to me, I miss him, too. As for my Mom, I miss the Mother that used to live in the shell she exists in now. She is 91 and has a form of dementia and doesn't remember my brother, my Dad, or anything or anyone. She. for some strange reason, she knows and remembers me. Dad was very good to my Mom. In fact, I never heard a cross word between them and he never raised his voice to my Mother. He was always affectionate with her. I guess it was common in those days not to hug children. Even though my parents hugged all the time, they never hugged Ben or me. Dad yelled at and hit Ben and me, but he never was like that toward my Mom.
Next time, more about the progression of our family with a handicapped child and more pictures.